live love laugh hope

I can’t believe how fast 2012 passed by and that 2013 is only a few hours away. Here are just a few of the highlights that have made 2013 a year to remember:

1) On February 17 we moved in to our first home. Much of our spare time in 2012 was spent on our house – from unpacking, to purchasing new furniture and accents, to building a fence and deck – there wasn’t a spare moment, especially over the summer. One of my favourite memories is building the fence with our neighbours. If we didn’t know we would be great friends before that July long weekend, this project definitely sealed it.

2) The summer reminded me of some the things I was looking forward to most with coming home – +30C days with +20C overnights, trips to the lake and camping without multiple sleeping bags. We weren’t able to make a trip to BC to camp, but we spent an amazing week camping Saskatchewan style with some of our favourite people.

3) I was honoured when my brother’s fiancé asked me to be part of her bridal party. I’m beyond excited to get a sister (officially) in August 2013!

4) Although I didn’t need to leave to get hot weather this summer, I took advantage of the opportunity to visit a friend in Key Largo and we were lucky to have another friend join too. A girl’s weekend was the perfect way to explore the Florida Keys and will hopefully become an annual tradition.

5) In late August we headed Calgary to spend a week with friends and family. It was a jam-packed week that was topped off with one of the best concerts of my life – Linkin Park at Fort Calgary. It was a truly incredible experience.

6) This fall came with a few big life changes – a new job (still at the university) and the discovery that gluten has been making me ill for at least a few years and likely longer. Thankfully the new job is the perfect fit and I’ve adapted to life without many of my favourite foods and drinks and I’m feeling great. As an added bonus, the extra pounds I’ve been trying to shed for years are falling off with little effort. Here’s hoping that continues in 2013!

7) We woke up in our own bed for the first time in almost a decade this Christmas morning. To make it even more special, we got to wake up to two of our favourite little ones who are at the age that they still believe in Santa. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate Christmas.

In addition, I have added so many amazing new friends to my life this year and become reacquainted with many others. I feel very fortunate to have some pretty incredible friends and family in my life.

Although the year hasn’t been all ups and there have been a few excruciatingly painful moments – my precious baby cousin became an angel and I lost a dear friend to cancer – I feel very fortunate to have been blessed with the year I had.

Thank you to all who have been a part of our life this year and wishing everyone near and far a happy, healthy 2013.

In the past 42 hours I’ve come to the stark realization that I don’t know how I will ever be able to deal with sick kids if or when I become a parent. My reasons are selfish really – I can’t handle being around people with the stomach flu due to my own intense phobia of vomiting.

My other half came down with the stomach flu just shy of two days ago. Since the moment he got sick I’ve sequestered myself as much as I can – sleeping in a different room, using my own bathroom, washing and rewashing, and refusing to sit in the same room as him for any longer than a few minutes. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done what I can to help make it easier. I’ve brought him drinks and food, and made runs to the store to get the items he’s needed. But I have also done everything in my power to ensure I don’t get it, short of leaving my home to stay elsewhere.

People say it’s different when it’s your own kids, but I’m still not sure that will overcome my phobia. I’m praying my other half will be the parent in those cases where I can’t overcome my fear. He’s always been amazing to me when I’m sick, I just wish my fear didn’t prevent me from returning the favour.

Today I’m wearing pink. I wear pink in memory of Amanda Todd. I wear pink in support of all those who have ever been bullied. I wear pink because I’ve been the victim of bullying.

I often consider myself lucky that I was not born in a generation where kids have a cell phone by the time they go to kindergarten. Where Facebook and Twitter give instant access to share in a format that makes it permanently available online. Where text messaging allows kids to mass message text and photo content with the click of a button. Being a kid (and for that matter an adult too) is hard enough without having to face cyber-bullying.

Bullying makes a lifelong impact. I still remember being teased as the “farm girl” in grade 3; having personal items stolen from my desk in grade 8; being punched in the bathroom and taunted for months because I made the junior girls basketball team as a freshman; and being stalked and harassed by a former boyfriend in grade 11 who thought it was okay to box in the car my boyfriend and I were in and pull out his bat bag.

My hope is that Amanda’s story will make one person think twice before bullying, give one person the confidence they need to stand up for someone else who is being bullied and give one person the courage to ask for help when faced with being bullied. It’s incredibly sad that she isn’t here to see the impact she is making, the lives she is touching and the people she is inspiring. Amanda, you have made more of an impact in your 15 short years than most will make in a lifetime. Rest in peace now, angel.

I’m the type of writer who thrives on being upset, angry and sad. To ask me to write when I’ve been as positive as I’ve been is challenging for me, but in the interest of keeping my blog going, and with no drama in sight, I’m going to attempt to get something on paper (or more accurately, on the web).

The past 8 months have been a whirlwind. Although 8 months seems like a short period of time, my life has changed quite significantly. I live in a new place, have a very different job, own my own home and have a new circle of friends to add to the amazing ones I already had.

In early March I had something completely unexpected happen, I had a series of anxiety attacks. I was talking to a friend in the midst of what seemed like hourly attacks and commented on how I was very happy and was confused as to why I was having attacks worse than I’ve had in years.

This friend commented on the amount of change I’d gone through in a brief period of time, and although positive, it would be a lot for a person to take in. How correct she was!

Now that I’ve settled in to my “new” life, the change has been a positive step and I am happier than I’ve been in a very long time. I’m proud to say I finally feel I’ve made progress in the whole purpose of this blog…to refocus on life, love, laughter and hope.

At the conclusion of our fence building weekend!

Dear Relay family,

It’s that time of year again when we all come together to make a difference in the fight against cancer. Although I’m not there to share this Relay season with you, I watch your progress, visit your Facebook pages and think of you often. You all inspire me with your passion and commitment to a cause that has touched us all.

As you head in to the hardest few weeks, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do. We all have our stories, our reasons we Relay. Those reasons will carry you through the next few weeks and those moments when you aren’t sure if you can do it. You CAN do it, you WILL do it and you WILL make a difference in the fight against cancer.

Best of luck this Relay season and thank you again for fighting for your loved ones and for mine.

Yours in Relay,

JR

My amazing 2011 Relay For Life team

Lately I’ve had a few beefs with Facebook, or, more accurately, the way people are now using Facebook as a communication tool for items that are better left to more personal forms of communications. I, like many, appreciate the convenient nature of many impersonal forms of technology. Text messaging and Facebook happen to be tools I use on a regular base to keep in touch. But I like to think I use more personal forms of communication when the situation requires, especially with my closest friends.

So now to the specific situations that have set me off on a mission to educate on Facebook etiquette…

For those of you who read my last post, you know my cousin and his wife unexpectedly lost their son last month. My family is very close and this cousin and I are the closest in age and therefore grew up together. I didn’t go looking for sympathy for our family’s loss, but I was very surprised that only one friend picked up the phone to see how I was doing. To be fair to others who reached out, I was truly moved by acts of kindness from new work friends and appreciated having the support of one of my oldest friends who had happened to meet my cousin’s son only a few weeks prior. I’m not saying I didn’t appreciate all the Facebook messages and texts, but I was surprised that some of the people I would have considered my closest friends didn’t do something a little more personal than the standard “I’m sorry for your loss” message.

This week I was again reminded that some individuals don’t seem to understand what is Facebook appropriate versus what is not. The first time was when a friend of mine welcomed her first baby to the world. In her text message announcing the news, she asked everyone not to post anything until they could. I found it sad that someone would need to be told this and not just assume these new parents would want to be the ones to share the news.

Then, last night, one of my family members had an exciting announcement. Before they could call everyone personally with the news, a friend had posted a status update that was enough information for me to determine the news before my family member was able to get in touch with me. Instead of being happy about the news, I was extremely upset about the way I found out.

Based on my recent experiences, here are my Facebook etiquette tips to keep in mind:

1) Facebook is not a replacement for reaching out to a friend. Next time one of your friends has news to share (either happy or sad), consider what you would hope your friends would do with this news when deciding whether to pick up the phone or send a Facebook message.

2) Let people share their own news on Facebook, you don’t need to do it for them. If you feel the need to say something, wait until they have done so first. This includes engagements, baby news, wedding photos, etc.

I could probably list another dozen etiquette tips, but I’m not a Facebook expert. Instead, I ask that everyone use common sense when they are on Facebook and consider how you would feel being on the other end of the situation.

My family has been extremely lucky; tragedy has stayed away from our lives. Well, that was the case until today, Monday, March 26, 2012, the day life changed. The day my cousin’s 6-month-old little boy was torn from this world without warning. Less than 48 hours ago I was holding this little one in my arms, not knowing that would be my final goodbye. Now I’m speechless, numb and physically ill with grief.

I’m not looking for sympathy; I will save that for my cousin, his wife and their 2 boys who are beyond devastated. I’m not looking for answers; those will undoubtedly never come. How can anyone answer why someone so small and innocent is ripped away from a family that loves him?

I’m looking for an outlet for my anger and grief for our family’s loss. Unfortunately, I don’t even know where to start. Even writing, an outlet that rarely fails me, is a struggle. So instead, I ask that you all take a moment today to tell your family you love them because this tragedy has reminded me of the truly amazing power of family when tragedy strikes.

I’m fortunate to have a large, close-knit family that will hold on to each other tight as we help my cousin and his family find their new normal that unfortunately will never be the same. I know my family will get through this because we have each other.

This past weekend we moved in to our new home. Many have asked, “you must be so thankful to not have to live with your parents anymore?” Surprisingly, living with my parents wasn’t as challenging as one may think – supper was ready when we got home, bills were paid for, and, due to the size of their house, we were still afforded some amount of privacy.

The one challenge we did face was our reliance on living a flexible lifestyle. We had grown accustomed to being able to come and go as we pleased, change plans at the last minute and not have to rush home from work if we had something else that came up. Our day didn’t need to be 100% planned and that was the way we liked it. It’s not that my parents cared what we were doing, but they planned their day around us being home for supper. Therefore, we needed to know the night before what our plans would be for the day.

Without my parent’s help, we definitely wouldn’t be in the situation we are – having pulled together a down-payment in a few months, paid all moving expenses, insurance costs and lawyers’ fees, and still being able to purchase Christmas presents for both of our families. In addition, my grandma was key to ensuring the homebuying process was a breeze – setting us up with a great mortgage broker, getting us a deal on our house and securing our lawyer. I feel very fortunate to have such a great family who offered to support us without being asked and was looking for nothing in return.

Therefore, to answer the original question, I’m not thankful to be out of my parent’s house, but I am thankful that we now have a house to call our own and that I have a wonderful family that supported us to help make it happen.

Thank you Dad and Mom

We are now five days away from taking possession of our first home. Although we are really excited to move in, the process has not been without its issues. We have seen first hand how a boom in business can result in a complete lack of customer service.

In our home buying process we were required to go with a specific real estate agent due to their exclusivity agreement with the homebuilder we decided to go with. This agent worked really hard to sell us the house, but since we signed the paperwork we’ve faced nothing but issues, many resulting in unforeseen costs to us.

Our agent is young and would have only experienced selling houses in a boom. Having come from a city that saw a similar boom 6 years ago and the resulting slow down, I want to shake this agent and tell him it won’t always be as easy to sell a house as it is right now. The relationships he builds today will carry him through his career, through the good times and the not so good times. In addition, all it takes is a few upset clients airing their grievances on a social media site or ratings website to make an impact on his career, especially in a smaller community such as ours. He doesn’t seem to realize this and instead has shown nothing but attitude towards any concerns we’ve brought forward and made no effort at building a lasting relationship with us as his clients.

I have to say, I’m very thankful this relationship is coming to an end. I have to admit, I submitted to the boom mentality and did not take the time to research our agent and jumped in feet first to get the house we wanted. I look forward to our next home buying experience when we can take the time to build a relationship with an agent and homebuilder, and hopefully have a more enjoyable experience in the process.